We’re Okay

Oklahoma Home

I know I’ve been silent on my blog lately.  It’s been a busy season for my business.  I’m coming back soon with some big surprises for Accidental Okie and Swoon Designs.

But I wanted to let you all know that we’re okay.  The horrible tornadoes that ravaged Oklahoma were too close for comfort – just miles away.  The movie theatre currently being used as a triage center is where we saw Batman and Harry Potter and Les Mis.  But we’re safe, unharmed, thankful, and praying for those who can’t say the same.

Pray for our state.  Pray for our neighbors.

Sorry!

I know, I know!  Where have I been?

It’s been a question I’ve been getting a lot.  You loyal fans and friends, you are demanding some more blog posts.

So, here’s the deal. It’s spring and I have about 1,000 jobs with my business, Swoon Designs.  So I’m making graduation announcements, doing wedding quotes, a bunch of stationery, two corporate logos, a big corporate brochure, a charity auction and another corporate job.  Oh and I need to invoice someone.  And cash some checks.  (I’m bad about remembering to collect and deposit money).  And I need time to sleep.  Oh and being on the elimination diet is a little time consuming.  Also, I’m tired.

Here’s the skinny on the past few weeks.

  • Our elimination diet is going great!  The Professor has been able to taper off his IBS meds and my face looks photoshopped.  I would take a picture, but I’ve been working on Swoon jobs for about 48 hours straight and currently look like the before picture of a stunning before-and-after makeover transformation.  We’ve added back fermented soy and baked eggs (like in bread) and a very small amount of peanuts.  Next week, the plan is to add back less cooked eggs (like scrambled eggs).  I haven’t missed dairy except in my coffee and tea.  I haven’t really missed anything, come to think of it.
  • I have become a dark chocolate connoisseur of the highest order.
  • I am no longer a functional, happy person without my morning smoothie.
  • I was incredibly happy when we added back fermented soy.  Asian food, you complete me.
  • The Professor’s car died, but was resurrected by our trusty mechanic.  The aging SUV lives to ride another day…as long as its headlight doesn’t fall out.  I filled out the paperwork on my W2 wrong and my employer didn’t take out much in state taxes, which means our tax bill has the word “thousand” in it.  Together with the car, my parent’s hopes and dreams of becoming grandparents are dashed again.  That was kind of a bummer.  After discovering the two things, I may have hidden in the closet and cried ten minutes before company was coming over.
  • My sister is moving to Massachusetts in a few weeks.  She’s super excited.  I’m excited for her, but sort of sad to have my buddy and helper living here.  She’s currently making dinner since I’m so busy.  I love you Jackie!
  • Once my sister moves to Massachusetts, I will probably be forced to learn how to spell the state name.
  • The Professor planted some beautiful plans in our front flower beds.  We are no longer “those neighbors.”
  • I discovered a show called Sweet Genius and am hooked.  Only we don’t have cable, so that’s a problem.
  • Charlie has gotten fatter.  We’re beginning to suspect he has aspirations to become a cat sumo wrestler.

Okay, that’s it.  I’ll be back.  I promise.

The Dreaded Elimination Diet

Psst – thanks everyone for voting last week for the recipe to save.  The quiche won.  Look for the recipe soon.

I thought about naming this post Just Kill Me Now or something like that.  But the reality is that the more I’ve thought about our elimination diet and the more research I’ve done, I’m actually really excited and hopeful.

Yes, we’re doing an elimination diet.  It’s 21 days long.  It starts today.  We’re not eating corn, soy, sugar, gluten (The Professor is eliminating gluten – Jackie and I have severe gluten intolerance and eliminated it years ago), dairy, peanuts and eggs.

There are several reasons we’re embarking on this adventure.  Jackie, my sister who is living with us, is also gluten-free and has been still having a lot of symptoms associated with food intolerances.  She went off dairy for a few days and a lot of things cleared up.  Since we both have gluten intolerance, there’s a pretty good chance that if she has other intolerances, I do too.  Also, once you have one food intolerance, you’re likely to have or develop others.  (Thanks Mom and Dad…your genetic lottery aspirations have exceeded your expectations).

One of the big symptoms of a dairy intolerance is bad hay fever allergies.  My allergies are so bad that at least once a spring my eyes swell shut, and I get allergy shots once a week.  I’ve also had a lot of weight gain due to bad reactions to birth control pills, and I’m up for trying this.  The Professor also has been having some health issues, and the doctor recommended an elimination diet.  So, the writing was on the wall.  We all need to do this, and we’re all at the point where we’re ready to commit.

All I have to say is this:  If I am allergic to dairy, I will probably lock myself in my house and cry for a few days.  Fact.

We’re following two books.  The first is the Virgin Diet by JJ Virgin.  I read the book this weekend and was intrigued by her explanation of why she recommends eliminating these seven foods.  They are the seven highest food intolerance foods.  They’re foods that are often times associated with healthy living, and so sometimes people who do have intolerances to these foods end up sabotaging themselves because they’re eating the things worst for them.

She has a quiz that lists common food intolerance symptoms.  You get two points if you have occasional symptoms and four points if you have frequent symptoms.  0 – 5 means you probably don’t have many or any food intolerances, 6 – 14 points means you may have mild food intolerances, 15 plus means you have a high likelihood to have quite a few food intolerances.  I scored  48.

I’m also reading and gaining recipes from The Gluten-Free Good Health Cookbook by Annalise Roberts and Claudia Pillow, two of my gluten-free heroes.  In addition to the Virgin Diet’s focus on food intolerances, both books focus on eliminating foods that cause inflammation within the body.

So here we go.

Step one was researching.  Because Jackie has been spearheading this, I asked her to make a meal plan for the week. As we went through recipes in both books, we caught the vision for great meals that wouldn’t make us feel deprived.  Tonight we had chicken fajitas with a bunch of peppers and onions and fingerling potatoes.  Later this week, we’re having Dal and brown rice and a Greek salad. The more we researched, the more we saw that this could be done.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comNext, the perishable items went to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.  Farewell cheese.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comBecause we will be systematically adding items back into our diet, we put the currently unsafe non-perishable foods into a bin in the pantry so we wouldn’t be tempted.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comThat’s where the bread and tortillas used to live.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comThen we went shopping.  It was quite a trip.  I anticipated it being more expensive to set the foundation for a new way of eating, and it was.  But I think our weekly budget will be back on track after this week.

I was thankful to find dairy free and sugar free chicken broth.  Also we found some great pre-seasoned and safe meat at Sam’s.  Putting all the groceries on the table before unloading was a neat visual reminder that although we’re temporarily eliminating so much, we won’t starve.  In fact, we will be eating amazing, yummy food!

elimination diet | accidentalokie.com

Jackie’s going to make us some kale chips.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comTo set us up for success, I prepared all the veggies.  I peeled and chopped the carrots and stored them in water because Pinterest told me to.  Apparently it keeps them crisp.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comWhen I saw this carrot, I wished I had a snow man.  It is the perfect snow man nose.

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comCarrots, green onions and lettuce are ready to go!

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comAnd the whole fridge is stocked!

elimination diet | accidentalokie.comThis weekend I also made roasted red pepper hummus, which will provide a great snack throughout the week!

We’ll let you know our progress.  Because this is a true elimination diet for food allergies, there can be no cheating or all the work is void.  If you have food allergies or have done similar diets, give us tips.  We need them.

Rock the Vote

As you probably know, my recipes are step-by-step with lots of photos.  Why?  Because I think step-by-step recipes are super useful and uniquely suited to the blogging medium.  Also, I hope that many gluten-free newbies read my blog and are less intimidated about jumping head first into the world of g.f. cooking.

But sometimes, I mess up.  It’s true.  I know you’re shocked.  Take a moment to sit down if you need to.

You see, sometimes I get everything set up to blog about a recipe.  I buy the ingredients, start the prep and take the pictures.  But somewhere along the way, I forget to continue taking pictures. Usually this happens if I’m making a meal for company, and I get rushed at the end.  Or my blood sugar is low and I’m on the dangerous tight rope between lightheaded and hangry (hunger-induced anger = hangry).  It’s a dangerous place, my friends.  Just ask The Professor.  He’s been caught in those crosshairs before.

This reminds me of a picture I saw on Facebook a few days ago.

hungry

Can I get an Amen?

So, anyways, my point.  I have a few awesome recipes whose photos just sort of unceremoniously ended before the recipe was finished.  They’re amazing recipes, but I wouldn’t normally blog about them because they’re missing some of the step-by-step pictures.

This was making me sad though.  Because, I mean, they’re some of my favorite recipes.  So I’ve decided to feature one of these recipes, and I’m letting you decide!  Right now, they are on the Island of Misfit Blog Posts, and you have the power to set one free!

Vote in the comments section by Friday, February 15th.  Whichever recipe wins will be featured on Accidental Okie!

Recipe 1: Roasted and Caramelized Vegetables with Sesame Seeds and Rosemary

One of my favorite exports from New Zealand.  Filling and economical and oh so good.

roasted veggies

Recipe 2: Quiche

There’s a secret ingredient.  Spoiler alert: it’s in this photo.

quiche

Recipe 3: Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Dates

The party food of kings…or of all my friends.  One of the two.

datesSo rock the vote.  Save a recipe!

Cast your vote for which one to save by Friday!  If you’re having trouble voting on the blog, vote on Facebook or my Twitter feed.

My Hero

It’s no secret that The Professor and I have cats.

There’s Pippa.  She’s the oldest.  We got her after our four-month old kitty Lucy tragically escaped and was hit by a car.  We named her Pippa after a poem by Robert Browning about a girl named Pippa who goes on a long walk and encourages everyone she meets.  We needed encouragement and a fostered little kitten was sure to fit the bill.

Except Pippa apparently actually means pissy, because Pippa is the pissiest little cat I’ve ever had.  Just like how in the arctic in the summer when there’s flowers blooming and birds chirping, but the ground is still in a state of permafrost, Pippa is always somewhere on the annoyed spectrum.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comHere’s she’s sleeping on The Professor’s leg on a road trip. (Yes, our cats travel with us like dogs).  This is her begrudgingly happy face.

There’s only one exception to Pippa’s mood, and that’s when she’s warm…or, well, in need of warmth.  Her affection level is directly related to how cold she is, and how warm she wants to be.  I feel loved.  I feel used.  Mostly, I feel loved.

cats | www.accidentalokie.com

Charlie, on the other hand.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comHis full name is Charles Bingly George Warren, and he’s an oaf.  He spends his days begging for food, collecting cylindrical objects from around the house – straws, razor blades, The Professor’s tooth brush, drain plugs – and sleeping on his back whilst loudly snoring.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comAnd despite being on a strict diet, he’s so fat that he can’t properly clean himself…ahem….down there.  So he gets frequent baths.

I have to lock Pippa out of the bathroom during Charlie’s baths because, hearing his plaintive cries, she gets protective and starts biting my legs to let him go.

On to my hero.  That is The Professor.  For Christmas, he got me the greatest gift in the whole world: a cat door.  Yes people, our cat litter is in the garage!  Hallelujah!

cats | www.accidentalokie.comHe bought a kit from Lowes.  We had to buy a “big cat door” to accommodate Charlie’s girth.  This is especially sad seeing that Charlie is not even a year old.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comNext off came the door – the only one in our house not yet painted.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comWe traced the pattern on to the door, which was laying on a work table.  And he used a power drill to cut through the door.  It is a double layer solid door, so we had to match up the template to the other side and repeat.

cats | www.accidentalokie.comThe idea is that you screw the edges and the door pops out.  Hurray!  It worked.

I couldn’t take pictures of the rest of the steps, as I was laying on the ground in the garage, holding one side of the door in place while The Professor screwed in cat door on the other side.  About 10 minutes later, we were done!

It took a little coaxing with treats for the kitties to accept their door, but within about ten minutes, Charlie had mastered it.cats | www.accidentalokie.comPippa, the suspicious cat that she is, chose to only look through it and attack Charlie when he tried to cross.  You shall not pass!

By the end of the day, they were both pros.

Every day I thank The Professor for what has to be the greatest gift ever…no more cat litter in the house!

Budget Binder (And Free Printables)

the reluctant budgeter

My reluctant budgeting continues.

The first time I met with my budget mentor Pat, we talked about the benefits of the cash system.  Money can seem theoretical when it’s electronically zipping out of your debit card.  A few dollars here and a little stop at the store there, and you’ve unknowingly blown your budget.

So we’re working on the cash system.  Not for everything.  We’re not taking dollars and exact change to the mortgage company, but we are using cash for everything except bills, charitable giving and gas for our cars.  It’s divided into five categories:

  • Groceries – food, cat stuff, toiletries, household cleaning supplies
  • Clothes & Makeup – including my more expensive hair-care products
  • Entertainment & Eating Out – this how we feed our Thai food addiction.
  • Play Money – a little pocket money for The Professor and me during the week.
  • Gifts – Because we have a lot of nephews and nieces, we’re putting $40 back each month for gifts and hoping that this will cover birthdays all year and Christmas.

Pat told me that I needed to figure out an organization system.  She said a budgeting system has to have two important elements: it must work for you and you must like it.

Translation: make it pretty.

Yes, you heard right…straight from my mentor’s own lips.  Her reasoning is this: who really wants to spend all that time budgeting?  But if you have to do it, it’s easier when you have created an inviting system that you can tuck into once a week.  Now, I’m sure there are accountants out there who just love spreadsheets and feel at home amongst those white and black lines, but I’m not one of those people.

Being me, I couldn’t find paper and organizers that I liked.  I knew I wanted things to be color coded.  I knew that I needed to keep details to a minimum, and I knew I wanted thick paper.  So, being me, I made my own system.

budget binderIt started with a regular-sized, 1-inch binder with the clear front pocket where you can slide in a cover sheet, some plastic binder pouches to serve as money envelopes and binder dividers.  (In case you long to be just like me, I put the links to the exact things I bought.  You know, since everyone wants to be like me.)  Then I designed my system.  Each of the five categories of the cash budget has a section within the binder that contains three items.

budget binder | www.accidentalokie.comFirst, there’s the cover page.  This is important because this where I defined my categories.  When I told Pat my grocery budget, she said it was a little high, but when I explained that it included things like cat litter, cleaning supplies and toothpaste, she said that it was actually  accurate.  (Score!)  Having all these things lumped together works for me because I buy a lot of them in the same place. Also, I knew I needed my system to be as simple as possible, or I wouldn’t use it.

budget binder ledgerNext is the ledger where once again I kept things simple.  It has three categories: date, details and dollars.  I’ve simplified things further by not recording my purchases by date, but by week.  I section off each month and write how much money we’ve budgeted for the category.  Our grocery budget has seen an increase since my sister has moved in, so we’ve been learning how to adjust for a third eater and a second gluten-free eater.

In the details column, I write down notes.  This is especially helpful if my bill was especially high.  One grocery trip, I had to buy allergy medicine and supplies for a big pizza party.  That will be good to remember when I’m reviewing the month.  I also keep track of cat expenses, so I have a better idea what to budget for Charlie and Pippa.

budget money folderFinally, each category has the cash, stored in the convenient plastic pouch from Office Max.  The goal is for these envelopes to accrue cash – for us to not spend to the limit every month but to build a cushion for a rainy day (or when we want to buy rib eyes or other splurges).

I tried the cash system once before and carried all the cash with me.  This didn’t work for two reasons: First, I was stressed about carrying several hundred dollars with me.  But second (and the real reason), I would be like “Oh look how much money I have!  I should get a coffee,” or “We can totally afford eating out again this week month.”

budget binder percentages

Another thing Pat and I talked about was deciding how much to spend on each category.  She gave me the generally accepted guidelines, which I designed as part of my binder.  My hope is to do quarterly check ups of our spending against this guide.

I’ve been on the system for about a month now.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • A cash system does not work if you forget to get cash before you leave the house.
    I’ve had to learn to give The Professor and me our $20 of play money at the beginning of every week so that we don’t use our debit cards for little purchases.  I’ve also had to make sure to get grocery money before every trip.
  • I can afford things.  
    Before I started the cash system, I spent a lot of time being frustrated because I couldn’t afford things.  I’d tell myself it was the plight of a teacher’s wife.  Now that we have entertainment and play money budget categories, I’ve been able to buy little things that I want.  I was at Target last weekend and saw the soundtrack to the Les Mis movie (the only movie I’ve seen twice in the theatre since high school), and rather than feeling sorry for myself, I bought it with my play money.
  • I spend too much.
    I’ve already pinpointed areas of over-spending, which I’m now able to address.  Also, I was spending money on things I didn’t know about.  For instance, I had a Weight Watchers membership.  Who knew?
  • Grace
    Pat told me that it will take about three months of doing this consistently before I’m not overspending every month.  In the interim, I’m remembering to have grace with myself.
  • I feel empowered!
    Maybe this reluctant budgeter is becoming a little less reluctant.

Because I love all my followers and because I hope this is helpful for you, I’ve created printables so you can have a beautiful budget notebook, too!

budget binder printables | www.accidentalokie.com

Below are PDFs so you can create your own budget binder.

binder cover
percentages
cover groceries | groceries sheet
cover clothes | clothes sheet
cover entertainment | entertainment sheet
cover play money  | play money sheet
 cover gifts | gifts sheet 

Gluten-Free Meatloaf Cupcake Recipe

meatloaf cupcake

Meatloaf, like Brussels sprouts and kale, has enjoyed a culinary renaissance in the past years. Meatloaf cupcakes are one such incarnation.  They’re cute and trendy, and have the perfect amount of sauce coating topped with fancy mashed potatoes.  Serve them at dinner parties where you will wow your guests and eliminate the hassle of cutting individual portions, or make them for your family and store the conveniently sized lunch leftovers.  Either way, they are delicious.

Whether you make meatloaf as cupcakes or in a large loaf, my meatloaf is moist and delicious. The recipe is based on a recipe given to me years ago by my former boss and her sister.

First, get mashed potatoes going.  I’m not going to go into a recipe for this, as I assume you all have a recipe for mashed potatoes, and you all think your recipe is better than any other recipe. No matter your chosen method, it will be best, at least for this recipe, if you first peel your potatoes and you make them as unlumpy as possible.

Now on to the main event.

meatloaf milk and bread

Start by getting the oven going and cubing four pieces of gluten-free bread (or three pieces of regular bread).  I used Udi’s Whole Grain bread here.  Gluten-free bread is significantly smaller, which is why you add more.

Add milk and let the mixture sit together until the bread is mushy.  This liquid-infused binder is the key to the moist meatloaf.

cheese, carrots, onions

While the bread and milk are doing their thing (or thang as we say it in Texas), it’s time to prep. Shred a bunch of cheddar cheese and carrots (or be lazy like me and use matchstick carrots), and thinly slice the white and green parts of some green onions.  Yes people, this meatloaf has flavor.

milk and bread

After just a few minutes, the bread looks like this.  I used a fork to mush up the bigger pieces.
mixtureMix together the bread, two pounds of lean ground beef, two eggs, some salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce.  You want to mix this by hand because it can easily become over-mixed in a stand mixer.  That would result in thick, solid, and brick-like (read: sad) meatloaf.  And that’s not what we’re going for here.  So roll up your sleeves, wash your hands, and dig in.

After the base is mixed, add the veggies and cheese and mix just until everything is incorporated. I didn’t photograph this part, as my hands were a bit icky.

gluten-free meatloaf cupcakes | www.accidentalokie.com

Now your hands are clean and beautiful once more.  Lightly oil a regular-sized muffin pan.  I use a spray oil.  (Gluten-free beginners: spray oils can sometimes contain gluten, so make sure to read the label).

meat loaf cupcakesAdd meatloaf to the muffin pan.  Make sure to pack the meat in tight and make a domed top to give the appearance of a cupcake.  Remember, meat does not rise.

This recipes yields 12 cupcakes.

meatloaf sauce

While the meatloaf is cooking, make the topping.  This is an unholy union of brown sugar, ketchup, mustard and Worcestershire sauce.

meat loaf cupcakes out of the ovenAfter about 25 minutes, pull them out.  This is where you might say, “Oh look, my meatloaf cupcakes are gross and ruined.”  Have no fear!  They’re not.  The fat has cooked out of the meatloaf.  I used 93/7 meat, which is quite lean and still the cupcakes looked like this.  They’ve also shrunk.  Don’t worry.

meatloaf

Spoon each cupcake out and put on a cookie sheet.  The cupcakes still have five minutes to cook until they should reach their internal temperature of 160 degrees Fahrenheit, so do this step quickly – you don’t want the meat to begin cooling down, and carefully – you don’t want to burn yourself.

Liberally spoon the ketchup mixture on the cupcakes.  Imagine a bundt cake with lemon frosting perfectly oozing down the sides of the cake.  That’s the look you’re going for here.  Back in the oven they go for about five minutes.  When you remove them, they should be at temperature.

meat loaf

Now they look like this, which is pretty close to perfection.  But in the words of my infomercial friends…but wait, there’s more!

meat loaf frostingOh yes.  Potato frosting.  Fill a frosting bag or frosting gun with the non-lumpy mashed potatoes and using a large tip, frost the cupcakes.  When they’re all frosted and lovely, put them back in the broiler until the tips of the potato are slightly golden.

meatloaf cupcakeServe with extra potatoes and salad and look like a domestic goddess.  You’re welcome.

Gluten-Free Meatloaf Cupcake Recipe

Meatloaf
1 cup milk*
4 slices gluten-free bread (I used Udi’s Whole Grain Bread)*
2/3 c. finely chopped green onions, white and green parts
2/3 c. shredded (or matchstick) carrots
1 1/2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 lbs. lean ground beef
2 large eggs
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

* If you’re not using gluten-free bread: 3 slices of bread and 2/3 c. milk

Topping
3/4 c. brown sugar
3/4 c. ketchup
1 tbsp yellow mustard
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly oil a regular-sized muffin tin that makes 12 muffins.

Make a batch of mashed potatoes, opting for peeled potatoes.  When mashing the potatoes, make them as unlumpy as possible.

Slice bread into approximate inch-by-inch squares, place in a bowl and cover with milk.  Let sit for 5-10 minutes, or until the bread is soaked through and mushy.

Shred the carrots and cheese, slice the onions.

Once the bread is soaked through, in a large bowl, mix the meat, bread and milk mixture, eggs, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce.  Just mix with your hands, so as to not over work the meat.  Add the vegetables and cheese and mix just until combined.

Fill each cupcake cup with meat so that it is packed in the cup and mounded on top to look like a cupcake.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until the center of the meatloaf is nearing 160 degrees.  While the meatloaf is baking, make the topping.  You can microwave it for a few seconds if the brown sugar is not mixing in well.

Remove cupcakes from the oven and carefully transfer each cupcake to a cookie sheet.  Quickly spoon a liberal amount of sauce over each cupcake and return to the oven for about five minutes.

Place mashed potatoes into an icing bag with a large tip.  Remove the meatloaf cupcakes from the oven and “ice” with potatoes.  Place under broiler until the potatoes are slightly golden on the edges. Serve.

Yields 12 cupcakes.

You can also make this as a loaf.  To do that, line a large rimmed baking dish with foil.  Put the meatloaf on the pan, forming into a loaf shape.  Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.  Top with sauce and bake for 15 minutes more.  When making as a loaf, the topping measurements are: 1 c. brown sugar, 1 c. ketchup, 4 tsp. yellow mustard and 3 tsp Worcestershire sauce.  No potato topping.

Cooking on a large pan and forming the meat into a loaf (as opposed to a loaf pan) allows the grease to move to the sides of the pan.  Remove the loaf and serve on a fresh platter for a beautiful dinner.

The Uncomfortable Budgeter

the reluctant budgeter

Several weeks ago, I was the guest blogger at Lark and Bloom.  I wrote about my adventure into the world of budgeting and my journey of becoming a budgeter.  Well, a reluctant budgeter.

After a month of trial and error, I have some things to share in the coming days, but in case you missed it, here is the guest post, which served as an unofficial kickoff to the series.

Go to Lark and Bloom to read my original post, or check it out below.  Well, go to Lark and Bloom anyways.  You’ll find it to be one of the most genuine, kind and all-around interesting blogs written by an equally genuine, kind and gosh-darn interesting person, Elizabeth.

 * * * *

Everyone, meet Sarah Warren! I am beyond happy to share the first of several guest posts for An Uncomfortable January. Sarah has been a friend of mine since college. We were freshman who were equally obsessed with Jane Austen, fine china and bowls of pad thai.  She went on to get her masters in writing and now writes at The Accidental Okie.  This means that she sees the hundreds of grammatical mistakes I make on my blog & loves me anyway. Sarah also is the one who did the design for Lark & Bloom, for which I am eternally grateful. Give her a big Lark & Bloom welcome & join in her discomfort.

Sarah- The Accidental Okie and Uncomfortable Budgeter.

I’m on an uncomfortable journey: learning to budget.  Let’s not mince words.  I hate it.  I’m growing to embrace it, but I still mostly hate it.

A combination of being a stereotypical creative right brainer, not excelling at numbers, and hanging on to hefty emotional baggage led me to pass off budgeting responsibilities to my husband.

Last semester he started teaching a college class for extra income. That’s on top of being a high school science teacher.  He didn’t have time to do the budget anymore.  It was ignored for a few months and gross overspending ensued.  I needed to take something off his plate and we realized the person spending the money really should be the one setting the budget.  Since I do all our shopping, I was the natural, albeit reluctant, choice.

I’ve already had a few successes and failures, which I’ll be documenting on my blog over the coming months, but here is a preview of what I’m learning in this uncomfortable journey.

Tackle Demons

For several years of my childhood from middle school to the first year of high school, we were poor.  To this day, thrift stores and canned soup literally cause my heart to beat faster as I momentarily relive those meager days.

Most people walk into a thrift store and think about cool vintage finds.  I remember the year I had to buy my new school clothes at a thrift store and nothing fit my awkward mid-puberty body correctly.  I remember having to work three weeks of babysitting jobs after a friend stole my graphing calculator because she thought it would be funny.  I remember my friends asking why we always had the exact same groceries, and me never telling them that we stood in line for our box of groceries every week at the food bank.

For me, budgeting equaled counting pennies, which equaled feeling all those things again.

When I think about budgeting, I think about my parents arguing about money.  Any time my husband brought up the budget, I was sure he was mad at me.  Our monthly budgeting meetings consisted of him trying to talk and me defensively evading every question.  Not super productive.

The practical steps of setting up a budget are important, but for me identifying and dealing with my own junk and establishing new ways of thinking have been equally necessary.  In my soul searching, I realized I’ve been more secure overspending than budgeting because if I could overspend, it meant I wasn’t helpless like before.

Seek Wisdom

I’m not doing this alone.  Once a week I meet with a mentor at Barnes and Noble.  Pat and her husband’s life story revolves around coming out of major debt, and now they enjoy helping young couples avoid the traps they found themselves in.  We drink coffee, pore over my budget, look at spread sheets and share tips – well, she shares tips with me and I write them down.  Bottom line – if I was doing this alone, I probably already would have given up and gone back to my old ways.

It seems that no matter the uncomfortable journey you find yourself on, there is someone who has wisdom to share.

These days, I’m a reluctant budgeter.  Maybe someday I won’t be so reluctant.  It seems the only way to get from here to there is to continue on this uncomfortable journey.  I might even go shopping at a thrift store by the end of it all.

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If you have any budgeting tips, I’m all ears!

Happy Birthday Miss Elizabeth

pride and prejudice

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

Two hundred years ago this week, those famous words were published.

Happy Birthday Miss Elizabeth Bennett.  Happy Birthday Jane and Mr. Bingly and Mr. Darcy.  Happy birthday to the salacious Mr. Wickham and the sad Charlotte and the pretentious Mr. Collins.  Happy birthday to the impetuous Kitty and the dramatic Mrs. Bennett and the wry Mr. Bennett.

Happy Birthday Pride and Prejudice.

There are a few books out there that wrap around our collective hearts and don’t let go.  Jane Austen managed to write one of them.

I remember reading the book for the first time and hating Mr. Darcy at the beginning, as you do, and admiring Lizzie’s wit and strength.  When I learned more about the time period in which the book was written, that strength – that counter-cultural independence – became even more profound to me.  She turns down a proposal.  She’s old and she may have lost her chance, but she turns it down to wait for the right man.  She turns down Mr. Darcy after he’s been unkind to her and her family.  She respects herself.  She’s witty, but kind.

As I grew up and began to see the pressures put on me by myself, by society, by circumstance, and how easy it was to fold, I realized just how strong a character Jane Austen had crafted in Miss Elizabeth.

Of course, the pressures on me were less subversive.  Should I settle for a graduate school I didn’t like because I felt I wasn’t good enough for the one I really wanted?  Should I fling myself at every available guy in college so I have the self esteem boost of having a date?  Should I be bland and witless to fit in?

What would Elizabeth Bennett do?    That is the question we must all ask ourselves.

So today on the blog, I thought we could have a P&P love fest.  Tell us your favorite Jane Austen book or favorite Pride and Prejudice character or favorite moment.  Tell us what you like or hate about the book.  Tell us your favorite memory reading the book or watching the movie.  Tell us which is your favorite movie!  Tell us anything P&P related!

My favorite P&P memory is having the six-hour version with Colin Firth play on repeat during finals week in college.  My roommates and I studied to it, relaxed watching it, and knew it would be on when we returned from the tests of the day.  It became a tradition in our apartment.  The movie equivalent to a security blanket.

My second-favorite memory is watching this awesome fake trailer that makes it look like a melodramatic nightmare…or as my sister called it, a movie of stares.

Kitchen Mini Remodel

We haven’t done a lot of home renovations since our week-long blitz after buying our house.  We were blessed to find a house at an incredible deal two years ago.  It’s only 1500 square feet, which is actually pretty normal for our town.  It needs cosmetic fixes, but apart from that, it is sound.  It did have an aging roof, but a stout hail storm took care of that for us.

One thing I didn’t want when house hunting was a galley kitchen.  And yet, our house has a galley kitchen.  The reason I was okay with it is that the kitchen is quite wide, with about seven feet between the edges of the cabinets.  I knew we could add on someday.  Also, we have a six-foot walk-in pantry. Be still my heart.

Here’s what our kitchen looks like now, so you can get the lay of the land.

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4accidentalokie.com

(We have curtains up now and there’s not a table in the middle of the kitchen anymore.  Oh and I removed the hideous backsplash.)

After saving and planning and deciding to tackle one project before we take on the more time-consuming project of procreation, we are taking the plunge and making a few changes to the kitchen.  Can I get a woop woop!  Well, I call it a few changes.  The Professor calls it a remodel.  It’s big changes or a small remodel, whichever semantical path you’d like to take.

When we moved in, half the kitchen was ketchup red and the other half was mustard yellow.  The cabinets were all brown.  And around the dining area was lovely half-peeling mauve and powder blue wallpaper.  I would show you the pictures, but sadly all our before pictures were lost when my mom’s camera disappeared.  It’s pretty sad really, because who doesn’t want to see that train wreck.

We painted the walls and the cabinets and covered the wallpaper with wainscoting.  It’s a thousand times better, but still needs functionality.  Right now, my largest counter top is only about three feet wide – not ideal, especially when there’s so much wasted space in the kitchen.  So here are our plans!

Wall Color

Approximately 51 percent of the time, I love our kitchen wall color.  The rest of the time, I despise it.  In the right light, it is classy and whimsical.  In the wrong light, it is fluorescent and silly.

I want to go with something tamer.  I hate sitting in our living room on our brown leather sofa in a pretty and calm room, glancing to my left and WHAM! turquoise!

Here is some inspiration I’ve cooked up.

Like maybe a lighter turquoise.

Photo via Bower Power Blog

Or maybe gray.  I am a sucker for gray.  But our bedroom is gray and white with rich woods.  Is it okay to have two rooms with such similar color palettes?

What do you think?

Counter Tops

This is where we struggled the most with taking the plunge on this project – the counter tops.  We couldn’t afford new counter tops, could we?  It turns out we can, if we get laminate.  We only need about 30 square feet, and if we – ahem, The Professor – installs them, they’ll only be about $350.  I wish we could afford Silestone, but I’m really excited with the new laminate choices out there these days.

This is Wilsonart Black Alicante.  It has large veining throughout.

This is Wilsonart Oiled Soap Stone.

And this is Formica Mineral Jet.

I love black counter tops, if you couldn’t tell.  I think they add a beautiful contrast to my favorite color: white.

Backsplash

Are you sitting?  I hope so, because you’re about to see the most beautiful thing ever.

Arabesque white backsplash, you complete me.

This sample is a bit bigger and fancier than we want.  But I wanted to show you the white tile with white grout look.  She’s a beaut!

Home Depot has a similar version for about $7 a square foot.  Score!

Sink and Faucet

The great thing about the project is that we’re paying for it piecemeal.  We bought the faucet last week after our faucet sprung a leak and started watering our curtains…and sheetrock.

Introducing our new faucet – the Delta Savile.  I love it.  The head pulls down, but clips back in magnetically.  It is very beautiful and I might name it Gregor.

Lilyfield Life

Speaking of things with funny names, this is the sink we’re getting.  It’s the Ikea DOMSJÖ double-bowl sink.  Fiona from Lilyfield Life has taken beautiful photos of her Ikea sink and written a review after a year of use.  She was nice enough to let me borrow a picture from her blog.  She’s nice, and she’s from the Antipodes, which makes me like her.

Isn’t this the most beautiful and classy and perfect sink you’ve ever seen?  Now take into account that most apron front sinks start at $1000, and this one is $300.  It just got prettier, right?

I went back and forth between a stainless and oil-rubbed bronze faucet and finally went with the stainless.  In every picture of kitchens I saw, they all had silver faucets, even if their hardware was oil-rubbed bronze like ours.  I finally realized it was because the faucet matched their stainless appliances.  Now we have no plans to replace our refrigerator or oven any time soon, but I figure as we do, we’ll have an aesthetic to shoot for.   Also, the stainless faucet was about $50 cheaper.  That sealed the deal.

L-Shaped Counter Addition

This is probably the biggest of our changes.  I think it’ll be the most expensive, too.  We’re adding an L-shaped cabinet.


It will look a lot like this picture, but probably not as long.  The countertop will have a 10-inch overhang where white backless stools will live.

Hiding behind the stool legs will be a door in the corner of the cabinet.  That’s where we’ll put big platters and other things that aren’t used often.  The space will be 18 inches wide and 25 inches deep and as tall as the existing cabinet.  It will be amazing.  This also helps us use that corner area without ripping out the existing cabinetry.  On the other side will either be a row of four shallow drawers or one shallow drawer and two deep drawers, which will match the existing cabinet.

Someday

Someday in a long time after we’ve saved up lots of pennies, we want to put vinyl plank flooring in the kitchen and the rest of the living areas throughout the house – everywhere but the bedrooms and bathrooms.  Something dark like teak.  But that will be a lot of pennies.  So don’t count on that change any time soon.

Also someday when I get up the courage to refinish the kitchen table I bought on Craigslist, I’m going to stain it a dark brown black.  It will be pretty.  Maybe I’ll do it spring break.  As it is going to be my first furniture restoration attempt, I am currently paralyzed with fear.

The big empty wall above the sideboard will eventually hold a gallery wall with colorful photos from New Zealand along with pictures from our wedding and some other fun mementos.  The frames will be white with white matting.

So that’s the plan.  I’d love to hear your opinions and thoughts!  Tell me what to do!!!!!